Wow, your sitting room looks beautiful!
Yeah, my sister rearranged it.
Your parents don’t mind?
Well, at first they didn’t want her to, but then she negotiated with them to get them to let her try. She told them that she would move everything back if they didn’t like it.
That was a good bet. I had to negotiate with my mum yesterday as well! She almost crashed my plans to visit Deola.
So you had to discuss and arrive at a peaceful agreement, how did you do it?
I promised to come home early today to take care of the housework she wanted me to do yesterday.
Negotiation has always helped to cooperate better with my mother.
I think I also had to negotiate yesterday, with my friends at the football pitch on peer pressure and going out on dates.
Negotiation leads to self respect, particularly when you want to decide issues like: - To have or not to have sexual intercourse. - The type of parties to attend. - Use of alcohol and drugs. - The club to join. - Number of children to have. - Who is in charge of a group or project.
You know babies and little kids can also negotiate about sharing toys.
That’s true and you know it can also: - Promote tolerance and understanding. - Promote acceptance of responsibility. - Enhance assertiveness. - Help in setting mutual limits in sexual situations.
You know you can enhance your negotiation skills?
Tip List: - Listening - Careful observation of the other person - Use of positive body language - Good verbal communication - Being clear about your needs
Imagining yourself in the other person’s position can come in handy and, of course, if you have a conflict come up with alternatives.
Like the other day, when Deola wanted to go clubbing and I didn’t. She was just bored, and couldn’t think of anything else to do. When I suggested going swimming instead, we were both happy to have something exciting to do.
Steps in a successful negotiation: - State your position using the ‘I’ statements. - Listen to the other person’s position. - Find out what the other person wants or needs. - Restate the person’s position to be sure you understand it. - Brainstorm win/win solutions. - Agree on a solution. - Get an adult to intervene when physical force is involved.
Hey! I’m glad to see you guys!
Good to see you too, Nike. What’s going on?
I guess I have a little problem.
What is it?
Its Udeme, he’s been asking me for sex. I’m confused, I know I’m not ready yet, but I don’t know how to talk to him about it.
Lets practice the SWAT technique
S: Say No Effectively W: Why (Give a Reason) A: Offer an Alternative T: Talk it Out
I’ll act as Udeme.
Alright. Udeme, I know myself well enough to know that I’m not ready to have sex with you.
I’m still too young, and I’m too worried about the risks of sex. I’d rather wait until later to become sexually active.
I know that you like me well enough to respect this decision and there’s still a lot we can do to get to know each other better, like talking and helping each other in school activities.
Can you agree to that?
Sure Nike, I like you and respect you enough to respect your decisions. We don’t have to have sex to be happy together.
Wow, so it is that easy! Thanks a whole lot guys. But what if it’s not so easy with Udeme?
It might not be, but remember, you know what’s best for you, you have to be assertive.
Remember to always stand for what you want and what you know is right and it doesn’t hurt to practice your negotiation skills!
Thanks guys, catch you later!
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