Have you ever heard that saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are?”
Yes, I have, but it never made sense to me. What does it mean?
It means that you can tell a lot about a person by who they choose to be friends with.
Well, I have a lot of friends, but I’m not sure I’d want everyone thinking I’m just like them.
Friendship is a relationship with someone whom you like and trust.
If everyone needs friends, where can we find them?
Lots of places, like peer groups, neighbourhoods, religious gatherings, work places or playgrounds.
Friendship is important because: - It teaches young people basic social skills - It helps build self-confidence - It provides companionship - It involves sharing and caring
So it’s good to have a lot of friends then.
Actually, I’m starting to think it’s more important to have good friends. I think that there are good and bad friendships. But I’m still learning how to tell the difference.
There are some characteristics of a bad friendship: - Gossiping - Telling your secrets - Bullying - Dishonesty - Selfishness - Suspicion - Disrespect
Bad friendship: someone trying to get another person to smoke.
So the characteristics of good friendship are?
- Forgiving each other - Trusting your friend - Being honest with each other - Shared interests and ideas - Support during good and bad times - Listening to each other - Respecting each other’s decisions - Affection
Respect your classmates
Is it ever necessary to end a friendship?
Unfortunately, sometimes. When you notice signs like back-biting, trying to make you do things you don’t want to do, ignoring your opinions.
But what if I really want to keep this friend in spite of all the bad things you mentioned?
Well, all hope is not lost. Even bad relationships can be improved by:
- Being assertive about what’s disturbing you - Sharing goals and aspirations - Visiting each others families and other friends - Listening to each other - Solving assignments together - Giving support in times of trouble - Giving positive comments about each other
Try to choose good friends. Everyone has to learn for themselves how to tell who will be a good friend and who won’t, but there are skills for making friends.
Being a good friend yourself, like being trustworthy, which means keeping secrets and confidences, or by being understanding and supportive even when your friends make mistakes.
Plus, you can use the active listening skills and “I” statements we talked about in the lesson on “Communication.”
I think a good rule is to be friends with people who treat you the way you treat them.
I guess you mean that to find a friend you have to be a friend?
Exactly. But I’m also a little nervous about talking to people when I want to be more than friends. What do I do?
You mean someone you have a crush on or feelings for?
Yeah. When I’m around someone I have a crush on, I suddenly don't know what to say. Even if we’re friends already, if I start liking someone, I get nervous around them!
That’s totally normal, it happened to me too. I was friends with Chichi for a long time, then one day I noticed I liked her more than as a friend. Suddenly, I was uncomfortable around her, and didn’t know what to say anymore.
That’s just like me! What did you do?
I spoke with my older sister Kemi about it and she explained that a 'crush' is a temporary feeling of attraction for someone. If Chichi was my friend already, then she already likes me for who I am and we can continue being friends.
Your sister is right, Tunde.
That’s why it’s good to have friends and family to remind you what they like about you, so you can get a little self-esteem boost.
I’m glad I have good friends like you. Bye for now, guys, I’ll talk to you later.
Bye!
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